Did Survivor 44 deliver a classic blindside or a fart in the wind?

For the last part of Survivor 44 episode 8, I was anxiously awaiting seeing what moves two players would make—and also waiting to see how the producers would screw that up.

Maybe that’s because I’m grouchy cynic; maybe that’s because that’s what the producers did last episode, and several times before that this season alone.

But no! They did not interfere! The game actually played out. Imagine that!

It was classic Survivor: a merged tribe, old loyalties, people in the middle, a single idol capable of upsetting the balance. There was a chance of a big blindside or a massive betrayal—the kind of typical average episode in the old days, which today counts as a remarkable turn of events.

My only complaint about the episode was that all that strategizing was compressed into one act, about eight minutes.

Meanwhile, the challenge consumed about half the episode, and Tribal Council took another act, even though basically nothing of value was said during the entire conversation. I’ll give the cast credit for learning how to respond without saying anything—smart, but not the best television.

As the episode opened, Frannie was crushed that Matt was gone, while Brandon described Matt’s exit as just “another person away from Soka.”

As Carson said, “Soka and Ratu hate each other,” and as Yam Yam explained, both of those tribes are ignoring him, Carson, and Carolyn. “Tika members are the Three Stooges,” he said. “No one thinks we’re the strategists, no one thinks we’re the power players.”

They almost were down one stooge, as Carson got sick from the PB&J reward. That sucks for him, and he described “one of the worst nights I’ve ever had in my life,” having thrown up nine times. I really feel for him, but did not need the addition of throwing-up noises for the one time we saw him crawl into the bushes.

While still at camp, the players got Tree Mail (!!) which said they needed to divide into pairs for the immunity challenge. Frannie pointed out they didn’t know if it was pairs or competitors; it turned out to be both, of course: pairs, then competitors.

Carolyn volunteered to partner with the sick one: “I’ll be with Carson; I’ll carry him on my back,” she said.

The challenge was an obstacle course we’ve seen before, just broken into stages and with a new ending. Pairs were eliminated during the first stages, and the final two teams competed as individuals in a—wait for it!—balance challenge.

The very first pair out were Carolyn and Carson. Carson’s “you got it, Carolyn” was so quiet and sad, and almost sounded like a different person.

Not quiet was our host. “That’s a Survivor right there!” Narrator McExposition said, pointing at Carolyn, a person who was, in fact, on Survivor. “Never give up on Survivor!” he added, indicating Carolyn, a person who had not given up.

Their loss puts them in a stronger position, I think: they didn’t have to compete, and both look good for trying while not appearing like threats.

Those who made it to the final stage were Brandon, Danny, Kane, and Lauren.

As they stood between two pieces of wood, balancing their feet on tiny pieces of wood, Narrator McExposition said, “This is about pain, absolute pain tolerance. It is going to hurt. Every time you move down, that foothold gets more narrow, puts more pressure on your foot, then you start relying more on your upper body. At a certain point you go numb.”

My brain sure went numb went during that. But that was followed by one of my favorite moments on Survivor in recent memory, because I am a third grader:

Probst: “Don’t lose your focus. Channel whatever you need to.”

Danny: “Jeff…”

Probst: “Danny…”

Danny: *farts*

Farting as a response to Jeff’s mind-numbing narration is an A+ move. Probst responded to the fart with, “That was nice. Well-timed. I’m so glad I’m not up there.”

The weight Danny lost from that escaped gas couldn’t keep him up, and Lauren won. She was ecstatic about her win, and rightfully so. “I never thought I would win any immunity—it’s so cool,” she said.

Then I turned on subtitles and rewound because I thought she added, This is, like, a fuckin’ idol, and it’s the coolest thing ever. But that was not it. She actually said, “Like, this is a bucket list item, and it’s the coolest thing ever.”

Tangent: I am completely convinced, however, that in “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree,” Brenda Lee sang, “later we’ll have some fuckin’ pie.”

After the challenge, Ratu was convinced it was in the power position.”We are strong right now, we are kind of dictating the way this game is being played,” Brandon said, perhaps telegraphing his own potential blindside.

Brandon just assumed Carolyn and Yam Yam were voting with them, and that Yam Yam had undying allegiance because they kept him last episode. Not good to assume!

Heidi, however, ran the numbers and realized that that they were 3-3, with some floaters. She told Danny Brandon was too much of a threat; Danny said he’d play his idol to save Frannie.

Heidi shared this plan with Carson and Yam Yam, and shared that Danny had an idol. When Carson told Danny that, Danny was not thrilled, because he realized Yam Yam might use that against him. Carson even volunteered to be Yam Yam security.

Yam Yam told us, “I’m playing everybody,” so the question going into Tribal Council was if Yam Yam would leak the plan to Ratu, and if Danny’s concern about Yam Yam would lead him to play the idol for himself, or if he’d stick with the plan to protect Frannie.

Danny did play his idol, and for Frannie. The remaining question was whether Yam Yam blabbed, and the editors cut to Brandon smirking. But that was a misdirect.

Everyone voted for Frannie except the four votes for Brandon, sending him home in a true, classic blindside. Ratu was so confident they just all voted for Frannie; not a split vote in sight! Curiously, though, Carson voted for Frannie.

So in one episode, Frannie went from what she described as the “worst possible outcome” to the best possible outcome, and she’ll possibly fade to the background now as other threats emerge. Let’s hope the producers keep letting the players just play like this.