Panic after substitute teacher shows Naked and Afraid to second graders

As WINK TV anchor Chris Cifatte explained to viewers who’d tuned in to watch the news last week, they were about to watch “a troubling WINK News exclusive.” Anchor Amanda Hall called it “stunning.” Other media outlets have picked up the story and reprinted versions of it.

What was so stunning, troubling, and newsworthy? Cifatte explained that “students [were] exposed to nudity and questionable material in class today.”

That sounds like they watched porn, or someone exposed themselves in a classroom. But no, not even close.

Instead, a substitute teacher showed the Discovery Channel reality series Naked and Afraid to a second-grade class for some unknown reason. Why would a second grade “guest teacher,” as a county official describes the teacher, show Naked and Afraid to second graders in a computer lab? No one knows, and I can’t imagine why someone would do that.

Early in her report, reporter Christina Lusby admits that the footage “was partially blurred.” But she keeps making a massive deal out of it, saying that parents “they didn’t realize the gravity of it until they watched it themselves.”

The gravity! The most nudity-related gravity I can imagine in this scenario is a saggy butt, because that’s the most that’s ever shown. There might be scary moments, but no one in this entire story mentions anything about the peril the show’s participants find themselves in.

Instead, Lusby says that what was “flashing on the wall for all the students to see”—clever how they use language connected with someone exposing themselves in public, like “flashing”—horrified parents. There’s just one who’s interviewed, though.

The most troubling thing in this entire story comes from a random, unidentified person, who says:

“They’re little kids and kids shouldn’t watch that. They can’t see it because, like, they think about their body and stuff, and that’s why I don’t think they should watch it.”

Oh no! A child, thinking about their body! That’d create more destruction than a Roland Emmerich movie. What would happen if they learned about biology? Or butts?

Again, it makes little sense for second graders to be watching this kind of show. But the only danger resulting from the fact that it did happen is coming from overreaction.