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Hilariously inaccurate promos for Big Brother

While CBS can commission some brilliant promos, the ones it airs for its reality shows are often ridiculous, whether they’re failing to capture Jeff Probst or spoiling episodes. But new promos for Big Brother are particularly bad, although perhaps they provide some insight into what the network thinks the draw of its summer show is. Hint: They’re wrong.

First, the latest promo offers actual information: This season will have more houseguests than ever before, and “four big surprises.” If any one of those surprises is named Rachel I shall hurl.

As to the teaser promos, one of them, below, identifies the show as “the sexiest, the funniest, the most outrageous summer show.” It also calls it “unpredictable,” which is laughable, as its competitors and viewers know. But really, do they think it’s sexy and outrageous? Survivor seems far sexier; maybe it’s outrageous, but it tries so hard to be outrageous that it often just looks silly (Otev).

The newest, which aired during 60 Minutes last night, says “There are Big Brother houseguests you love and love to hate.” That is very accurate, and acknowledging it is smart.

But at the same time, it says we love Jordan (try again–though at least it didn’t include that ass Jeff) and love to hate Brendan and Rachel (okay, check); that we love Dick Donato banging pots during season eight (eh) and love to hate Ronnie (Really? People remember him?). After 13 seasons, those are the best people they can come up with us loving to hate? Do they even watch their own show? I mean, at least put in that delusional twit Jessie–although please, please don’t bring him back. I’m over loving to hate him. And everyone else who gets brought back.

The best part comes at the end, when Julie Chen says, “Anything can happen, and it will.”

Oh Julie! If only.

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  • Andy Dehnart is the creator of reality blurred and a writer and teacher who obsessively and critically covers reality TV and unscripted entertainment, focusing on how it’s made and what it means. Learn more about Andy.

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