December is fading rapidly, and even here in Florida, it’s been winter gray. Here’s what you may have missed last week, and what reality TV you should look forward to watching on TV next week:
- Let’s start with the best news of the week of Dec. 6 to 12: Ethan Zohn’s cancer was “vaporized,” though he’s still going to get another procedure to make sure it doesn’t come back. The week was marked with so-so finales of otherwise strong shows. A boryng couhple raced to $1 million, and it turns out the third-place team was thwarted by a casino dealer while the brothers aren’t as dumb as they seemed. CBS surprised us most with a shockingly hysterical PSA. On Bravo, there was the Voltaggio finale of Top Chef Las Vegas, which wasn’t as close as it seemed, and I couldn’t stop watching the trio of maladjusted real estate agents. Meanwhile, people threatened MTV staffers with death because they were unhappy with a new reality show, and Jon Gosselin has to stay away because TLC was unhappy with him. The Biggest Loser really was the biggest loser ever, while a pair of ridiculous new dating shows, including one that takes place on a conveyor belt, are giving actual losers new ways to find love.
- Saturday, Dec. 12
Ninja Warrior comes to the US with American Ninja Warrior [G4, 6 p.m.], which G4 is for some reason airing as four back-to-back half-hour episodes this Saturday and next, starting well before prime-time.
- Sunday, Dec. 13
It’s a big night, as Dexter concludes its dramatic season and a ton of reality TV fills cable networks. A two-hour special called The People Speak [History, 8 p.m.] features celebrities such as Marisa Tomei and Viggo Mortensen, plus producers Josh Brolin and Matt Damon, illustrating history by performing regular people’s stories about their involvement in major events. Also tonight, a one-hour documentary about Susan Boyle, creatively titled I Dreamed a Dream: The Susan Boyle Story [TV Guide, 8 p.m.] will be narrated by Piers Morgan. A&E’s long-awaited series about the Jackson family, The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty will debut [A&E, 9 p.m.] with two back-to-back one-hour episodes, and Keeping Up With The Kardashians returns [E!, 10 p.m.].
- Monday, Dec. 14
The four-night a capella singing competition The Sing Off debuts tonight [NBC, 8 p.m.], and airs Tuesday, Wednesday, and next Monday. Hosted by Nick Lachey, NBC insists that it’s “like Glee meets American Idol.”. Minus the interesting parts, probably. Meanwhile, the Ryan Seacrest-produced series Bank of Hollywood [E!, 10 p.m.] debuts, and watches as people ask quasi-celebrities for cash, kind of like Shark Tank but without much of a point. Also tonight, following Carrie Underwood’s Fox holiday special last week, Jennifer Hudson gets her own special on another network [ABC, 8 p.m.].
- Tuesday, Dec. 15
After the top six do their final performances on So You Think You Can Dance [Fox, 8 p.m.], you’ll get a chance to cook with Hell’s Kitchen hellion Gordon Ramsay. During a one-hour special, Gordon Ramsay’s Cookalong Live [Fox, 8 p.m.], he’ll show you how to cook a three-course meal. Buy the ingredients you need in advance and get a pot of water boiling, or he’ll call you a stupid donkey.
- Wednesday, Dec. 16
During a two-hour finale, So You Think You Can Dance 6 [Fox, 8 p.m.] will waste a lot of time before announcing who America’s favorite dancer is (Jakob, probably). At least their finale results show will feature lots of amazing dancing, in addition to filler like performances by Adam Lambert.
- Thursday, Dec. 17
Tonight is Survivor Samoa‘s final Thursday episode [CBS, 8 p.m.], but the season concludes during its traditional three-hour finale on Sunday, Dec. 20.