Here’s what happened last week, and what to watch for next week:
- During the first full week of October 2009, we got personal with a reality show cast member who wants a roommate and another one who’s doing porn. Bravo is sticking with its best competition series, which is casting for a seventh season, An NBC show will make $100 million this year on products with the show’s name, and Fox is punishing us again next spring. While a chimp stayed away from DWTS, Tom DeLay danced with broken feet and then dropped out. Meanwhile, another controversial figure is getting his own reality show, and Donald Trump is going to play matchmaker–if, that is, anyone wants the woman he’s trying to set up.
- Friday, Oct. 9
Ever wonder what happens when a viscous crazy beast attacks someone–as in, an alligator tears off a man’s arm, or a black widow bites someone? Survivors tell their stories on the new series I’m Alive [9 p.m., Animal Planet], which airs two back-to-back episodes. The episodes include reenactments, so it’s not pure unscripted TV, but chances are there’s not a camera around when an alligator bites someone’s arm off.
- Saturday, Oct. 10
Diddy ends his latest series in his Saturday night exile timeslot [MTV, 9 p.m.], while the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders kick off the fourth season of Making the Team [CMT, 9 p.m.].
- Sunday, Oct. 11
On The Amazing Race [CBS, 8 p.m. again?], someone will lose their passport. Please let it be that dickhead Lance. Also tonight, E! debuts two more shows I won’t watch: The Girls Next Door [10:30 p.m.], which features new concubines for Hef, and Leave it to Lamas [11 p.m.], which is about Lorenzo and Shayne Lamas and their family.
- Monday, Oct. 12
In a six-episode series that first aired in Canada, an entire town in British Columbia eats locally–food grown within 100 miles–for 100 days. The 100 Mile Challenge [Planet Green, 10 p.m.] is based on the book The 100-Mile Diet. Also tonight, Rachel Zoe and company say goodbye to this season. [Bravo, 10 p.m.] Die. Die. Die. Ba. Nanas. Die. Die. That’s followed by the return of an even nuttier and more unlikable people on Million Dollar Listing [Bravo, 11 p.m.].
- Tuesday, Oct. 13
Hell’s Kitchen ends its latest season [Fox, 8 p.m.] with a two-hour finale that preempts So You Think You Can Dance. Unacceptable! Barry Levinson’s documentary about the Baltimore Colts marching band that kept playing even after their team moved, The Band That Wouldn’t Die, debuts as part of ESPN’s 30 for 30 series [ESPN, 8 p.m.].
- Wednesday, Oct. 14
The title of tonight’s episode of America’s Next Top Model [CW, 8 p.m.] is “Petite Ninja Wariors.” Another law enforcement agency gets its own reality series with the debut of Alaska State Troopers [National Geographic Channel, 10 p.m.].