In South Park’s recent Jonas Brothers episode, Mickey Mouse tells the animated version of the group they’re popular “because you make little girl’s gineys tickle, and when little girl’s gineys tickle, I make money. And that’s because little girls are fucking stupid.”
The American Idol 8 finalists’ hometown visits certainly proved there’s been a lot of tickling going on for everyone from little girls to a Fox correspondent in San Diego who literally did a dance when she saw Adam, but the results proved that they’re not that stupid, since they voted for the right two people to make it through on American Idol 8: Adam Lambert and Kris Allen.
The most stunning part is that Ryan Seacrest said just one million votes separated the top two, which may have been expected for Danny and Adam, but not Adam and Kris. Kris certainly deserved to be in the final two, but his presence there still qualifies as an upset, since Danny Gokey was declared to be an obvious finalist early on–even when he coasted through some weeks and shrieked through others. And Kris did choke on one of his two songs last night.
Before he went home, Danny did offer some fantastic criticism, telling Ryan Seacrest, “I think we’ve had enough suspense, enough commercials, just enough playing around. Let’s get to it.” Then Adam said, “I want to see Katy Perry!” Apparently she wanted to see him, too: She was wearing a flamboyant Elvis-ish costume with a cape that said “Adam Lambert,” which the anti-Adam crowd will surely pick up and run with.
Meanwhile, producers handed the cold open over to product placement for Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, and its cast tried hard to make it work, mocking Paula Abdul and even the fact that they were promoting a movie, but it wasn’t quite as organically ironic and self-aware as 30 Rock’s product placement. Meanwhile, Alicia Keys introduced a Rwandan kid who sang and then she asked for money. Basically, it was Idol Gives Back Lite.
All that filler meant the show ran over again, but this time DVRs stopped recording pretty much exactly when Danny Gokey started singing his final song. Apparently, not that many people will be complaining about that overrun today.