More than a year after the cancellation of The Simple Life, Paris Hilton returns to reality TV tonight with Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, a competition to become Paris’ new best friend. It debuts at 10 p.m. ET on MTV.
Because Paris is about as genuine in her search for a new best friend as Donald Trump was in his search for an actual apprentice, she’s now searching for a British best friend for a version of the show that will air on ITV2. In the totally bullshit press release quote that someone wrote for her, Paris/the producers rationalize that by saying, “I’m in the UK all the time, but of course I can’t bring all my friends, so I’ve decided to look for a new BFF across the pond. I need a best friend who is hot, who can keep up with me, and most of all, who is real and won’t be a backstabber. I’m not leaving London until I find that amazing girl or guy who can meet the challenges of being my British bestie!”
Yes, “bestie.” Anyway, MTV’s web site says the 18-person cast, some of whom were selected by viewers online, consists of “14 tabloid-ready girls and two flamboyant guys,” although that obviously equals 16; simple math is not a skill anyone associated with this show cares about. The network also says that, when they’re not participating in competitions, they contestants will be tracked via “two-way mirrors in the bathroom — aka “gossip central” — and a tell-all “burn book” will keep viewers in the loop about what’s going down behind the scenes.”
In the show’s trailer, Paris calls it “my very own dollhouse.” While that trailer at first inflicts us with the pain that comes with listening to Paris speak, and initially seems like a dumbed-down, shallower version of Top Model, it might just work if they keep Paris from talking the whole time, which is what she’s doing during a clip from an early challenge.