The first celebrity to be eliminated from Dancing with the Stars 7 was comedian Jeffrey Ross, which was pretty much unsurprising, since he had the lowest score last night.
Meanwhile, Cloris Leachman, who’s pretty much the best reason ever to watch the show, received the evening’s lowest scores, and for good reason, because her dancing was pretty horrible. It actually looked like her partner Corky Ballas was manipulating a Cloris Leachman puppet, as he had to guide her.
But seriously, screw the dancing: She’s worth keeping on the show for her entertainment value, at least until she becomes too one-note. Immediately after we learned that she was safe and about to dance, she ran over to the judges while reaching into her bra. Later, we learned that was because she gave them each $10. “I’ve bribed the judges, so we don’t have to waste the time,” Cloris told Tom Bergeron after her dance. (Earlier, in an interview taped last night, she said, “I’m going to get better scores for the mambo or they’re going to be dead. I’m going to sock them right in the face.”)
Carrie Ann gave back the money to maintain her impartiality, and when Len joked that he was keeping it, Cloris said, “Do you want it all? I know they don’t give you very much money.” She was back up at the table, although she kept moving back and forth, as if she’d been told to not leave her mark. When Bruno gave his feedback, Cloris said, “Speak English, what?” And there was lots of conversation about her “coconuts” shaking; Len told her, “last night, I had a good look at your coconuts.”
Backstage, Corky Ballas kept his arms wrapped around her, as if to restrain her. When Carrie Ann revealed her score, Cloris said, “oh you bitch,” and later said, “I’m leaving; where’s my chauffeur?” Let’s hope she doesn’t actually leave too soon.