Here’s how I imagine Simon Cowell invented his ABC reality show, American Inventor 2: He thought to himself, “You know what’s missing from American Idol? Long, tedious periods of silence, awkward pauses, and time-wasting moments that stretch 10 minutes of content into 44. Also, more sappy videos. And judges who make you realize just how amazing Randy, Paula, and I truly are.”
Despite dumping almost all of its judges and its host, the show remained a bore during its second season. There were plenty of interesting inventions, but they required another invention–a DVR and a fast-forward button–to make them watchable.
On last night’s finale, after lots of fast-forward-required moments, and a full 10-second, dead-air pause, Greg Chavez won $1 million on American Inventor 2 after plenty of silence and sappy videos featuring his family members crying, and the family members of the other two finalists crying. Elaine Cato’s bra came in second, and Ricky DeRennaux’s toy came in third.
Greg won for the Guardian Angel, which he described as “A small, pressurized tank of water, disguised as a Christmas package, that is placed under the Christmas tree and attached to a small hose leading to the top of the tree where a fusible link is disguised as an angel.” In other words, it’s a sprinkler for a Christmas tree.