On this, the third-to-last episode of The Amazing Race, the four remaining teams had various meltdowns: Danny and Oswald couldn’t find the waterfront or the pit stop; Charla and Mirna couldn’t cut noodles the right size or drive a tiny car; and Eric and Danielle were consumed with rage about being Yielded. Despite all of this drama, none of the teams suffered as a result, and what fun is pain without penalty?
- “Thanks, Travelocity,” Danny said at the start of the episode, as he and Oswald surfed the Internet to look at the prize they won last week. The screen shot we saw, however, was obviously fake and not really their web surfing. They were probably checking their e.mail.
- Ironically, a few minutes later, Oswald asked, “are we allowed to prostitute ourselves on the race?” as if they hadn’t just done that for Travelocity. By the way, every time I mention Travelocity I get five cents.
- Mirna told us, “People think that because Charla’s short, they think I’m supposed to treat her in a special way.” Actually, no one thinks that, but we do think people should treat you however one treats a harpy.
- “We’ll Yield whoever you want,” Oswald told Dustin and Kandice, asking for only cash in return, thus giving us the first instance of Yield-whoring ever.
- Dustin and Kandice paid to Yield Eric and Danielle. “Now we officially are the Yield queens. We just bought a Yield,” Dustin or Kandice said. We’re almost at the end of their second season and I still have no idea which one is which.
- At the Macau Tower, Phil introduced the Roadblock, “the highest jump in the history of The Amazing Race.” Walking around the top of the Macau Tower before jumping, Charla said, “The wind is blowing me, it’s pushing me away.” How funny would it have been if she was blown off the tower? She was safely strapped in, so she would have been fine, but I totally wanted to see her go flying. Yes, I’m ashamed.
- “We’re not really worried about getting Yielded again; we already got Yielded once,” Eric said. As soon as he realized he had been Yielded, he said, “You guys are pieces of shit” and other charming things such as, “I’m gonna kick down Danny and Oswald’s face when I see ’em.”
- Oswald, frustrated with a lost cab driver, said, “God grant me the patience to withstand the things I cannot change. And the intelligence to hide the body of this man once I’m done killing him.”
- From the Things Eric Has Probably Said Before files, Eric told Danielle, “You’re not doing anything by holding that. Pull the stuff.”
- “Your car go; our car behind you,” Charla told a cab driver, again slipping into her weird imitation of a foreign language.
- “We need to reverse the car back. I don’t want to die,” Charla said. Suggestion: Tell your cousin to stop pulling the car backwards with her hands and, You know, actually drive it.
- Waiting out their 30-minuted penalty (they were marked for elimination), Eric said, “Don’t even get excited, because in four minutes, they’re going to show up.” But Danny and Oswald didn’t and thus the Yielded were able to check in. “The rest of my hair’s going to fall out; I need to get double Propecia or something,” Eric said, being impressively self-deprecating for a change.
- After getting lost, Danny and Oswald checked in last but were saved by the last non-elimination leg, another undramatic conclusion.
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