This satirical story is part of the April 1, 2007, edition of reality blurred.
After searching around the country for cast members with career goals for The Real World 20 and finding no one who met their criteria, casting producers have recruited seven strangers who will live together in Hollywood.
Those seven people, who MTV called “diverse” and “representative of kids’ hopes and dreams today,” include a college dropout, a recovering alcoholic, a dipsomaniac, a professional escort, a video game player, and a nymphomaniac drunk with anger management problems who gives hand jobs for crack. Several were previously considered for the casts of Laguna Beach and Flavor of Love.
The show will be filmed in Los Angeles for the second time, but instead of a house, the show’s location will be a rehab facility. To ensure drama, cast members will sleep in the same bed, because they’ll be chained to one another and to the facility itself.
“What better way to fix something that’s fundamentally screwed up than to send it to rehab?” one source inside the production said. “Plus, we’re often accused of not supporting our cast members, even though we give them free Wendy’s and medical treatment after other cast members punch them. Here, they’ll get the help they need, and our cameras will get the footage they need.”
“It’s the perfect transition between our existing format and the show’s early years, which aired when my parents were teenagers,” the source continued. “We didn’t want to alienate 12-year-olds who watch the show and aspire to grow up to be like our current cast members, who are such strong role models for facing adversities such as having to buy their own liquor and defending themselves against the mentally ill people we put in the house with them. But we also want those people who used to watch in the 1990s, if they’re still alive, to come back and watch again and connect with the reality of America’s youth.”
Upon learning of the new cast, which was leaked to a blog published by the show’s producers, one fan expressed disappointment on his MySpace page, writing, “My freinds and me don’t want to have careers and current events and stuff shoved down are throats!! If you don’t like it, don’t watch it & STOPP making my read about it. I dont’ pay for cable to be forced to think about ideas I dont like.”