Give your loved ones a kiss and a hug, fill your pets’ bowls with water and food, and say goodbye to your summer: Big Brother 7 debuts tonight at 8 p.m. ET on CBS, and many people won’t see the light of day until it ends in about three months.
Thanks to the super-obsessive freaks who are already monitoring the offline video feeds from inside the house, we already know the identities of the 14 all-star houseguests, six of whom were selected by viewers. On tonight’s pre-taped show, Julie Chen will send them into the house, and the other six will go home with only their delusions of fame. (Bunky, we’re looking at you.)
The series will air every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday at 8, a slightly new schedule for this year. And, of course, there are the live feeds, available with a RealNetworks subscription, which this year comes with “blogs, chats, message boards, polls and other interactive features,” according to a press release, ensuring that you’ll never leave your computer.
The best and worst thing about Big Brother is that, sometime during the next three months, some crazy shit is going to go down, and missing one minute means missing everything. And try as you might, no non-watcher will understand you when you babble excitedly about the incident where someone got plastered with NyQuil, molested an electric toothbrush and used a knife with their flirtations, all while a crazy diminutive cult leader gets thrown out of the house and then burned by America. It’s time for the insanity to begin.