Us Weekly is reporting that Newlyweds Nick and Jessica are officially no longer a couple, although a rep for Nick says the claim is “not true.”
The unsurprising report comes four months after E! printed and then retracted a story that reported they were divorcing, and a year and a half after I joked on April Fool’s Day that the couple was splitting and would star in a new MTV series called “Newlydivorced.”
Us Weekly reports about the end of their relationship in its current issue, which was released about 14 minutes ago, according to Gawker, which offers details:
The article has a laundry list of contributions to the break-up (mostly blamed on Jessica), including creepy-dad Joe Simpson, Jessica’s “diva” behavior, and her fondness for whiskey on the rocks. One of those ubiquitous sources close to the couple says, “Jessica’s the problem. She’s not the girl America fell in love with anymore.”
Us Weekly’s cover line says it was her “ego, partying, and dad [that] drove them apart.” The last part is not surprising, since Jessica’s dad/pimp is, among other things, fascinated with his daughter’s breasts.
Gawker notes that Nick and Jessica are “waiting to make an official announcement later in the month (at the appropriate career opportunity, we’re sure) but according to Us Weekly’s scoop … the marriage has been dead for some time. Well, duh.”
Update: Entertainment Tonight received a statement from Nick’s people that says,
“Nick and Jessica have not separated. Rumors to the contrary are simply not true.”