Eric charges Michael during Big Brother 6’s first fight

As I was navigating traffic on I-95 and getting lost in New York City, Big Brother 6 had its first fight. Last night before 10 p.m., Eric flipped out and essentially charged Michael, and had to be held back.

In the event that this never makes it on air, we have video footage, thanks to BB Chatter‘s bbfan. (The footage in Real Media or WMV). As the fight broke out, the producers were apparently distracted, because they were pretty slow to hit the FOTH button. A lot happened before the feed kills and we see fish swimming around contentedly.

Here’s the (rather hysterical) transcript of their fight from Joker’s Updates’ recap:

Eric: You got a fucking problem?
Michael: I don’t have a fucking problem, You got a problem?
Eric: Not a fucking thing, but ya know what…..
Michael: That’s what I thought…..
Eric: But, go ahead….
Michael: Ya fucking talk a lot,
Eric standing up: ….talk about my fucking family….
Michael: ….you can’t act on it and you have a small penis.
Eric chair falls over, begins walking towards Michael, pointing at him: ….ya fucking piece of shit. Talk about my family. Ya piece of shit.
Michael: [inaudible]
Eric: You’re a piece of shit.
Kaysar pushing Michael: Shut the fuck up.
Michael: You fucking midget.
Eric: You’re going home, You’re going home.

This all began after Mike made Sarah and other women uncomfortable with his actions, and then later stared at Eric. I think.

I’m not going to pretend I have any idea what the hell any of this means, because I’m already so far behind I’ll never catch up. If anyone would like to make me a USA TODAY-style infographic so I can understand all of the in-house drama and machinations, I’d appreciate that. Until then, I’ll watch the TV show and pretend as if that’s the real version of events.