Paris Hilton won’t be charged with theft.
Paris Hilton won’t be charged with theft for allegedly stealing a copy of her own sex tape from a newsstand. As the AP reports, “The Los Angeles County district attorney’s office dropped the case for lack of evidence after investigating the hotel heiress for suspicion of petty theft.” DA office rep Irene Wakabayashi told the AP, “The evidence presented is not of such convincing force that a reasonable and objective jury would unanimously agree that the suspect is guilty.” The evidence in question is, like, only a freakin’ video of Paris taking the tape. What the DA’s office rep probably meant was something similar to what the Florida State Attorney’s assistant said when announcing they wouldn’t seek jail time for a surgeon who hired a hit man: “Sending a person of Dr. Mackey’s stature for this offense away to prison would certainly not be justice.” Justice, of course, is different for well-connected dentists, socialites without lives, and everyone else.