Heidi Montag naked in Playboy; has 20-30 orgasms daily thanks to Spencer

Heidi Montag’s long-awaited Playboy pictorial is out today, and she’s on the cover of the September issue of the magazine. Although it was rumored she wouldn’t actually expose anything, she is definitely topless and fully nude, although shows nothing directly (there is, apparently, no picture of her vagina). Previewing the photos, Spencer told Access Hollywood they are “real, beautiful art,” while Heidi said they are “more art”—more, presumably, than just porn.

In one photo, for example, she’s topless and looking out the window, but there’s only a side view of her breast, and no nipple shot (like in another photo where she covers her breasts with her hands), because showing her nipples is what would end up humiliating Heidi Montag. She also shows her ass and breasts from the side while posed in bed.

Besides the photos, the magazine includes an interview with Heidi conducted by Spencer (could they not find a journalist willing to talk to someone this famous?), in which she reveals stuff that’s truly shocking and obscene, like how much Spencer satisfies her sexually. “You know, I was never very sexual before I met you, Spencer. I knew what sex was, but when I met you I entered into a whole new realm of understanding, from fantasy to love. Or to experience a day with 20 or 30 orgasms,” she says.

Spencer does actually ask good questions, though, such as, “If everybody thinks I’m the biggest douche bag on the planet, why would you marry me?” Heidi answers, “You have a lot of qualities the world can’t see, and I get to experience them.”

And 20 or 30 times a day, apparently.

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