VH1 buys every season of The Bachelor, insists it’s “America’s Most Romantic Reality Show”

After spending more than two years mocking and sending up The Bachelor with its Flavor of Love franchise and spin-offs, VH1 has now acquired the rights to every season of the show.

That includes all 12 seasons of the regular show and four The Bachelorettes, plus “all cycles through at least 2008,” according to VH1. The cable network will reintroduce us to the franchise by airing the first seven seasons over seven days, starting on Sunday, June 1.

The weird part about this news is that VH1 is playing the acquisition straight, insisting that their shows and ABC’s show are basically the same thing. The press release even calls the Chris Harrison-hosted ABC series “America’s Most Romantic Reality Show,” which is completely ridiculous, considering the show’s nearly unbroken record of utter, embarrassing failure to create a lasting relationship. The press release also absurdly insists that “Will you accept this rose?” is a “popular catchphrase.” Try “universally mocked nonsense.” Even VH1’s own Best Week Ever mocks The Bachelor.

In his press release quote, VH1 EVP Ben Zurier continues the charade, saying, “‘The Bachelor’ is the granddaddy of the dating reality format. It’s been a water cooler staple from the moment it premiered in 2002, and it’s still on top of its game. As we’ve seen with our own record-breaking ‘Rock of Love with Bret Michaels’ and ‘Flavor of Love’ series, dating reality has become the drama for the current generation of young adults, with an engaging mix of intrigue, romance, and surprises. ‘The Bachelor’ and VH1 certainly feels like a good match.”

Well, it did until you all decided to lose your edge. Doug Benson, Best Week Ever’s Pop Culture Bachelor, needs to take his roses, walk down the hall, and smack someone in the head with them.

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