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The Apprentice 5

Apprentice 5 cast announced, features “a Russian, an Englishman, and a Mensa member”

NBC headlines their latest press release “A Russian, an Englishman, and a Mensa member…,” and also mentions “a psychotherapist, appellate attorney and sticker company owner,” as if this is the start of some really awful third-grade joke. And it is: they’re all members of The Apprentice 5’s cast.

This time, the oldest cast member is 38, with eight of the candidates in their 20s. I thought that was unusual until I looked at least season’s cast; its oldest member was Markus at 41, with the rest hovering around 30. They just all looked like they’d been through more than a few cycles in that stone-filled machine clothing manufacturers use to age jeans.

In a press release, Donald Trump does that thing he always does, whereby he metaphorically urinates on the old cast by promising us that this cast is better, as if he didn’t promise us that last time. “I once again hand-picked this season’s 18 candidates and this group is as smart and likable as season four but even more entertaining,” he said.

The new season debuts two weeks from today.