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The Apprentice 5

Apprentice casting producer suggests applicants “be who you are”

How does one get close enough to Donald Trump to latch one’s face onto his buttocks? An Apprentice casting producer, who’s currently in the middle of casting the fifth season of the show, says that wannabes should be one thing: themselves.
Scott Salyers tells the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, “So many people act the way they think we want them to. Just be who you are. I’m not looking for the loudest. I’m not looking for the craziest. My first and foremost job is to find someone who can run Donald Trump’s business.”

According to a PR firm, the show is looking for someone with a UPC symbol tattooed on their forehead. Brian Tedeschi says, “People need to think about themselves as a brand.”

So, before you show up for an audition, think carefully: Are you Lucky Charms with “revealing” pseudo-marshmallows? A 12-pack of sweet and sour Berry Lemonade-flavored Jones Soda? A role of generic two-ply toilet paper that shreds as it unrolls? Or a tear-shaped bottle of Method Hand Wash?