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Survivor Vanuatu

Chris goes to Kentucky with “police and media escorts.”

Have you ever wondered what it’d be like to taste fame? To live the life that just a relatively few people get to live? Ever wondered what it’d be like after you win Survivor and Or what would happen if you were a barnacle on one such person?

Wonder no more: If you’re Chris Daugherty, Survivor Vanuatu’s champion, and his losing pal Travis “Bubba” Sampson, you get to go to Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom. And play in a celebrity softball tournament. And go to a police and firefighter’s ball. In Kentucky Wow. The life most of us will never experience.

Actually, I kid because I’m jealous: the bastards got to skip all the lines at Six Flags. And they had “police and media escorts.” A spokesperson for the park told the Courier-Journal, “Basically, we do whatever they (celebrities) ask us if it’s not too unreasonable.” And she wasn’t even being ironic.