Newlyweds returns tonight; Jessica Simpson says she had the flu, not a baby.

Newlyweds returns tonight; Jessica Simpson says she had the flu, not a baby.
MTV unleashes 20 episodes of Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica on the world starting tonight at 10 p.m. ET. It’ll be followed by ‘Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen & Dave, which USA TODAY says is no different than The Bachelorette “if Trista were a Prince protégée-turned-ex-Mrs. Dennis Rodman, and Ryan were a heavily tattooed former heroin addict who owns a painting of the seven dwarfs painted by serial killer John Wayne Gacy and enjoys dressing up in his bedroom as Snow White.” In a separate USA TODAY interview with Nick and Jessica, during which Jessica continues to maintain she’s not dumb (latest excuse: “I think out loud — that’s my problem”), Jessica also addresses the pregnancy rumors. She says she was in the hospital for the flu when doctors suspected she was with child. “They thought I was pregnant, because I had all the signs of pregnancy. And I thought, ‘Oh, my gosh, all the rumors. Everyone would know before I did!’ The doctor asked me, ‘Are you sexually active?’ I’m married, so I hope so!” That makes less and less sense each time I read it, but the apparent translation is this: Jessica’s first reaction to doctors thinking she was pregnant was to consider that a) there’d be rumors about her being pregnant, and b) “everyone else would know” before her, even though the doctors just told her. Seriously, my head is going to explode if I try to analyze that any more.

advertisement