Mario Lopez and Emmitt Smith are Dancing with the Stars 3’s final two after Joey goes home

In the battle of “Blossom” versus “Saved by the Bell,” Joey never had a chance. Joey Lawrence was eliminated from Dancing with the Stars 3 last night, taking his shiny head and sailor suit home and leaving Mario Lopez and Emmitt Smith as the final two celebrity competitors. They’ll dance their last dances next week during the show’s two-part finale.

Joey was eliminated despite the fake, non-existent controversy over Mario Lopez’s package-grabbing Tuesday night that proves there’s such a thing as yellow blogging.

Joey’s elimination came, of course, at the end of a very long episode that contained “a parade of padding impressive even for this often bloated program,” according to MSNBC.com’s Linda Holmes. Besides advertisements for the next James Bond movie and the Dancing with the Stars tour, celebrities promoting themselves by talking about the show, it included a comment from the president of Zambia “that he liked all three of the famous American men dancing about in their shiny shirts.” Using world leaders to fill time: almost as unbelievable as ABC having a hit reality series.

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