Julie Chen really is a robot; April really is self-centered

TVgasm has perhaps the most amazing montage of Big Brother footage ever assembled. This is even better than the Scott and Jase: The Love Below video they brought us last year.

Host Julie Chen is often accused of being robotic, and as a result it’s hard to understand how she keeps her job. But as TVgasm’s B-Side writes, the video will help non-believers “understand the robotic precision that thrills us all. From the nearly identical vocal tones to the perfectly tuned blocking, Julie Chen is both amazing and scary in her consistency from week to week.”

And it’s true; in addition to saying the same words (in the clip, it’s “but first”), her movements and intonation don’t change. Add to that her awkwardness when the houseguests say something unexpected, and it’s no wonder the Thursday night episodes are like watching car crashes live.

Speaking of car crashes, having been booted from the house by Ivette, April Lewis talked to TV Guide, and the 31-year-old (ha!) shows her true colors immediately. The reporter, Angel Cohn, asked April what she wants to do when the show ends. Her full response was as follows:

“Gosh, I just want to just go eat and have someone wait on me, and not have to pick up after myself. That’s my first goal.”

So she’d rather go to a restaurant than see her family? Not exactly. Cohn then reminded her that she has a husband, and she clarified: it’s Matt who will be clearing her dishes for her, not some minimum wage-earning teenager in a restaurant.

“Of course, that’s a given. Him, Pepperoni [my dog] and my parents are my life. Then I want to just go and eat a big, fat meal and tell them what I want, and they’ll pick up my plates for me. Then just go home and relax in a bathtub with no cameras on me.”

That sounds like a very happy reunion.

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