CBS’ Big Brother 5 debuts tonight.

CBS’ Big Brother 5 debuts tonight.
Thirteen human beings you’ll undoubtedly loathe move into the Big Brother 5 house when the show debuts at 8 p.m. ET. The special hour-and-a-half episode kicks off the series that debuted four summers ago shortly after Survivor, but which has always remained its bastard cross-eyed cousin who has a slightly asymmetrical face. Thursday episodes at 8 p.m. will show nominations and evictions; Saturday episodes at 9 p.m. will be watched only by those without lives. And if you’re a gigantic loser, you can pay money to watch the housemates do things like sleep, and I know this only because I used to watch them. Despite the fact that one season of the show featured a near-knifing/making out session, Newsweek reports that the series is “the reality show even reality-show addicts shun.” Yet it “is one of the most successful shows in all of television.” Besides being insanely popular overseas, here “CBS has kept it around because its audience is one of the network’s youngest.”

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