Willie Hantz gets himself evicted, and of course Big Brother skips key parts
Willie Hantz was removed from Big Brother 14 on Friday, but because the intermittent feeds were off during the drama surrounding his exit, Sunday night’s episode was the first time anyone saw what happened, exactly. Unsurprisingly, the little of the incident feed watchers did see was excluded from the broadcast, because it’d be horrible if the TV show reflected reality.
With nearly four hours of feed blackouts, a lot happened, but of course the episode wasted time on shit like Danielle and Shane’s flirting, Frank and Boogie doing a lame version of Boogie and Will’s lame all-stars diary room sessions, and the HOH room nonsense that I hate so much that I just black out during it. Dan and Janelle discussed how different being in the house is now that they’re married and have people in their lives they care about, and that’s fascinating; Ian and Ashley’s slop date was somewhat charming, too. Still, save it for Wednesday: there’s a Hantz to kick out.
The coaches’ challenge, Phat Stacks, allegedly had a hip-hop theme, but instead was more like offensive stereotyping. The coaches wore MC Hammer-style pants that made it only possible for them to move sideways—and then they had to move sideways on a balance beam to transfer money stacks of money, because that’s what rappers do. (Also: Shouldn’t the pants have made their movement more difficult, rather than facilitating it?)
The best part of the challenge was actually Boogie pulling ahead of Janelle and celebrating his victory by jumping off the balance beam before pressing his tap light, disqualifying himself. Britney—who was in fine form this episode—noted that it happened as he was “saying one of his stupid egotisical lines,” and Janelle said, “Once again, Boogie’s ego gets in the way of a win.” Oh, Uncle Jerry.
The episode made it seem like Willie was irritated by being made a have-not by Janelle and because the house (and his team) were treating him like an outcast. His solution was to protect the teammates who wouldn’t even talk to him by getting himself evicted: brilliant. He said, “JoJo, I’m getting the heat off ya’ll,” and upstairs, told Janelle’s team, “I’m going to get evicted this week … just letting ya’ll know.”
This leaves out a key detail that was included before the live feeds went dark: He told others that he planned to “knock somebody out,” which makes his apparently sudden violent outburst seem far more premeditated. That outburst came after hilarious interaction with Britney, when she told him, “You can’t act this way in real life,” and he said, “I do.”
Then we got to listen to Willie chewing pork rinds. (Side note: there is way too much chewing on this show. It’s disgusting.) After talking with Britney, he then went from 0 to 60 by running into the bathroom and confronting Joe, who’d apparently said something we didn’t hear. Standing immediately in front of Joe, Willie yelled, “Hit me! Hit me!” and then basically shoved Joe with his head.
We heard a producer tell Willie and Joe to go to separate parts of the house, and then say, “Willie, come to the DR now.” Once he got there, its door to the backstage area opened and a voice said, “I need you to come with me.” Executive producer Allison Grodner gathered the houseguests and told them, “As you all know, violence is not tolerated in the Big Brother house, so Willie has been removed from the game.”
Incidentally, Willie has been threatening Joe on Twitter, where his bio says, “I enjoy eating fruitloops smoking cigarettes throwing pork at big nose women and headbutting bitches!…no I am NOT a bully.” Clearly, he’s demonstrating that he learned his lesson and is perfectly stable and was brilliant casting on the part of the CBS executives who have no clue about what makes for actually compelling reality TV characters and/or ethical behavior on the part of those who cast these kinds of shows.
Earlier, Willie said, “I’m not in this house to be comfortable. I’m in this house to win a half-million dollars.” Clearly, that wasn’t true. Mostly, he seemed to be a big baby like his brother, Russell, unable to handle what happened when things didn’t go his way. Willie also told Britney, “I came in this game to play by myself.” That reminded me of Russell’s failure to accept the reasons why he lost, because Willie was disconnected from reality, wanting to play a game that wasn’t actually happening. It’s like playing Monopoly as if it’s Twister: You’re just going to annoy your fellow players and mess up the board.
Now this board has nine pieces and nine weeks to go.