Natalie, Kevin, and Jordan are Big Brother 11’s mostly awful final three

Well, that was uneventful: Kevin won the power of veto, saved himself, and Jordan was nominated. Apparently fearing that Michele would beat him instead of just being a good final-two partner (“I’ve burned so many of the jury members that I don’t stand a chance,” she argued), Kevin voted her out, keeping Jordan. And of course, Natalie is still around. Ugh. That leaves us with a pretty crappy final three: Kevin, who’s the smartest person left, but his association with Natalie and other behavior has hurt his reputation; Jordan, who’s not much of a player at all; and Natalie, barf.

They’re all in the final HOH competition, which despite its importance, typically is really shitty, starting with an endurance competition and ending with the idiotic Q&A that always effectively affirms that Big Brother is a joke. The first part, which involved walking on a rolling log while being pelted with various kinds of weather (original!) is over, and (highlight to read what happened) Jordan fell, Natalie quit, and Kevin won.

Back to Tuesday’s quasi-live episode, as if Natalie hadn’t annoyed us enough Sunday, she started off by talking to herself in the third person: “Job well done, Natalie,” she said before taking off her inflatable crown. After learning that Kevin won the POV that she skipped in order to have her awkward boyfriend meeting/proposal, 18-year-old Natalie’s first impulse was to grab two Mike’s Hard Lemonades to celebrate his POV win to “rub their victory in our faces,” Michele said.

I actually think this is what makes Natalie so awful: She has no self-awareness. It’s not that her behavior is bad—there have been far worse houseguests—but she just doesn’t see how, say, drinking at 18 on a nationally televised show or cheating at pool or planning to psychologically torture other houseguests doesn’t make her just awful. For example, in her goodbye speech to Michele, Natalie said, “You played this game really dirty and I don’t respect that.” Sigh.

Meanwhile, when Kevin doubted Natalie’s commitment to him (he told us he was “having to string Natalie along”), she told him, “I gave you my word. I’ve never broken it to you.” To ensure he knew that was the truth, she said she was “putting it on my engagement.” Considering she lied about her engagement and didn’t really give a shit about it, that’s not much to swear on.

But Natalie did tell Julie Chen that she’s committed to Kevin. When Julie asked about Natalie’s stupid age lie, Natalie said it has “tremendously helped me. … It’s made people think that I’m a young, naive, gullible, immature, not too smart of a person.” Natalie: If they thought you were 24 or 48, they’d still have plenty of reasons to think all of those things.

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