Game of Thrones, Walking Dead reality shows; Bachelor condoms; Hoarders to get Duck Dynasty beards
Both HBO’s Game of Thrones and AMC’s The Walking Dead will be turned into reality series, insiders say, as a way to generate attention for the relatively unknown dramas, which have had difficulty getting attention and traction from the media. How exactly HBO will translate complex mythology into a reality series isn’t clear, but AMC’s reality show will reportedly release people with communicable diseases into hunting grounds, where they’ll be shot at with pig blood-filled paintballs.Coming to stores soon: The Bachelor and The Bachelorette-branded condoms, which smell like candle wax and roses and include Chris Harrison’s phone number on the wrapper in case you need advice from your bro.Cast members on A&E’s Hoarders have been told that in order for their show to be renewed, they’ll all be required to grow beards like the cast of the network’s hit scripted reality show Duck Dynasty, because executives are convinced that the beards are fun and generate ratings, while helping people with mental illness is just sad.Oxygen’s Bad Girls Club is considering setting next season at either a women’s prison or an all-girls day care center.TLC’s next special will profile people who watch TLC’s freak show specials, because apparently they are even bigger freaks than the ones they are watching on TV.Nicki Minaj will sing a modified version of “Tardy for the Party” on the next American Idol results show, which will also feature contestants singing pages of the phone book to kill time.Inspired by the creativity demonstrated by Big Brother Canada’s producers, who air footage from old soap operas dubbed over by interns instead of live feeds, CBS is planning on charging for access to watch an uncensored live feed of the trivia that appears when the live feed is cut and censored.
These fictional, satirical headlines are part of the April 1, 2013, edition of reality blurred. Happy April Fool’s Day.