Mediocre singer Michael Grimm wins America’s Got Talent, ending an otherwise strong season

A mediocre singer won America’s Got Talent 5 yet again, as Michael Grimm beat runner-up Jackie Evancho, third-place Fighting Gravity, and fourth-place Prince Poppycock. What a grim outcome. ZING!

Prince Poppycock was voted out first, which is unsurprising considering his lackluster performance on the finale. He explained on Facebook that technical difficulties affected his performance, but even without that, it wasn’t what we’d come to expect from him.

All the finalists performed with actual stars—Micheal Grimm with Jewel, Prince Poppycock with Donna Summer, and Fighting Gravity with Lionel Richie (?)—and after Jackie sang with Sarah Brightman, the former Christine from Phantom of the Opera basically said that while Jackie is talented, she should be allowed to be a kid. “I want her to save it and preserve it and enjoy her life with it, because her life, I think, is going to be very, very special,” Sarah said.

Despite this lackluster, frustrating ending—thanks, stupid viewers—this season was pretty watchable. The addition of Howie Mandel to the judging panel turned out great, and Nick Cannon was a great host, at least once he stopped trying to imitate the contestants. And the talent was strong, with big, watchable performances from acts such as Fighting Gravity and Prince Poppycock.