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American Inventor

American Inventor opens phones for voting and is even more boring than usual

American Inventor aired its “finale” episode tonight, and the phone lines opened so viewers could vote for the four finalists: Ed Hall, with Word Ace; Janusz Liberkowski, with Anecia, the spherical safety seat; Francisco Patino, with the Double Traction Bike, and Erik Thompson, with The Catch, the receiver’s training pole.

Thankfully, this Simon Cowell-produced disaster is almost over. It’s really too bad ABC and the producers wasted the concept with this piece of crap. The inventions are quite interesting and revolutionary, and the judges are both confrontational and nurturing.

But for some reason, instead of focusing on the inventors or the judges, we’ve gotten a lot of nothing: voice-overs by the stupid host narrating obviously set-up shots of them walking into buildings or making fake phone calls. With Rita Cosby’s long-lost brother—the raspy-voiced, annoying Matt Gallant—as host, the show has done nothing but waste time for its entire run. Worse, the padding has gotten thicker with every subsequent episode.

Watching the show now is like reading a blank notebook looking for a single period. When the inventors actually have to do real work or make decisions, those moments are’ summarized for us, never mind the bullshit recap episodes that ABC has aired the past few weeks.

Apparently, no one working on this show has ever heard of “show, don’t tell.” And this is television! Then again, this is television on ABC, America’s most incompetent broadcast network, so it’s fitting that they’ve screwed this up.