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American Idol 6

First episode of American Idol 6 was “sad and painful” and “a disappointment”

Ryan Seacrest opened American Idol 6 by pretending we’re all a big happy family, saying, “Together, we’ve created a phenomenon. Together, we’ve changed lives and discovered remarkable talents.” Together, we’ve also laughed at the morons who populate our nation, but not so much last night.

American Idol’s auditions have always approached the border between humor and discomfort, but they usually stay on the side of humor, keeping us entertained by delusional or attention-starved and camera-hungry people.

Not last night. While it started well, with a woman singing an orgasm, basically, most of the rest of the auditions in Minneapolis were just uncomfortable, and lingered far too long. One contestant spent a few minutes crying in front of the judges, and then the editors made us watch her cry for a few more minutes outside. Worse, rather than take her to therapy, her stupid family members told her, “There’s next year, baby.”

That parade of the truly delusional was not well received by TV critics, nor was the first episode itself. Last night’s show “wasn’t exactly an explosive start to the year. The top contestants weren’t that great, and the bad ones weren’t amusing enough to be worth the energy it takes to mock them,” MSNBC’s Craig Berman writes.

Other critics agree. The show “was for the most part sad and painful,” the New York Post’s Linda Stasi says, and “went from a high-note finale last season to a very sour-note season premiere … with contestants breaking down in real tears of despair. Hello! That’s entertainment? Why not take us to the real dawg pound and watch the dogs get ready for euthanasia.”

And The San Francisco Chronicle’s David Wiegand says the show “was a disappointment — not because it lacked its share of tone-deaf contestants in Minneapolis, but because all three regular judges were either seriously off their game, or have just gotten tired of themselves.”