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American Idol 5

Paula Abdul signs three-year Idol contract

Paula Abdul will continue her insipid brand of judging on American Idol for another three years.

In a press release, Paula’s quoted, and her statement kind of seems like it was written by someone else, because it’s coherent and only slightly devoid of substance: “It is truly an honor to be a part of the AMERICAN IDOL phenomenon. As an artist myself, it is a pleasure to have a connection with each of the contestants and be able to fully support their dreams and aspirations. They truly inspire and amaze me each week. Of course, I also look forward to putting Simon in his place for years to come,” she “said.”

Neither the press release nor media reports say how much she’ll receive for her additional three years, probably because reporters were too busy writing punny headlines to do real reporting.