Idol producers reassure America: “judges are focused,” not on shooting each other

Late Friday, American Idol’s producers released a statement designed to calm America in its time of uncertainty and fear. Despite all of the reports you may have read about, say, a judge threatening to shoot another judge, all is well in the land of sunshine and singing and Seacrest. Here’s what the statement said:

“This is one of the best, most passionate, dynamic and invested judging panels we’ve ever had. We love and support all of the judges and the fantastic work they are doing, and we can’t imagine a better group to find the next AMERICAN IDOL. Despite all the accusations and media speculation — much of which is inaccurate — production is going extremely well today and the judges are focused on finding the best talent here in Baton Rouge.”

Only “one of the best” judging panels? “Much of which is innacurate”? But what is accurate? Oh no, uncertainty! Time to run in circles and panic and generate more headlines to promote an aging show!

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