On Utopia’s lowest-rated episode yet, the group votes to adopt anarchy as their first structure, as if that will be an improvement over what they’ve had so far. I wanted this series to work so much that I’ve kept watching, hoping it could recover, but I’ve had enough; this cast of intolerable people who behave selfishly, violently, and angrily is just not worth watching any more.
Number of minutes before people started screaming at each other
18, which seems like a record
Number of minutes before I thought I might be able to keep watching this series
Number of minutes, including commercials, before the second fight of the episode
Number of minutes before a drunken fight
How many people showed up for their yoga and boot camp classes
Two, one for each class. Pretty soon, there will be more people in their fitness classes than viewers.
How you know a deer is dead
Someone is “washing its insides out.”
Something else Hex got wrong besides anarchy and thinking
“This is a very functional group of people.”
How horrifyingly racist and sexist this show is
Very, and not just because Josh says racist things and Red thinks “hillbilly stereotypes” are equivalent to racial stereotypes.
“It’s like living with a bunch of fucking babies,” Mike said.
No, Mike, babies are far more entertaining and far less annoying.
“Want to walk through the gates of paradise yourself?”
I love you as a host, Dan Piraro, but FUCK NO I DON’T WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THIS SMASH BREAK PUNCH