The hilarious Juan Pablo damage control

Tuesday was a day of hilarious post-Juan Pablo damage control for those associated with The Bachelor, with really pathetic stories being perpetuated by host Chris Harrison and news organizations giving us the totally unbiased ABC perspective.

An anonymous “source” told E! News that “a Neil Lane ring was on standby at the taping just in case Juan Pablo went through with the proposal.”

E! News sells ABC’s narrative by claiming the relationship is doomed because the finale didn’t go like producers would have liked: “without a proposal, or any confirmation that Juan Pablo is in love, it seems as though the future is bleak for his relationship with Nikki.” Please.

Meanwhile, the badmouthing continues with Hollywood Life reporting–and I should put “reporting” in scare quotes–”ABC didn’t want Juan to join Dancing With The Stars this year because they are over him. He is a complete jerk that America has been able to see materialize and he didn’t do himself any favors to influential people within ABC.”

Ooh, poor influential babies at ABC! What will they do?

Host and scorned bro Chris Harrison laughably told Good Morning America that he was trying to “help” him and “trying to make [Juan Pablo] look better.” He also tries to spin a new narrative that Juan Pablo was “making [Nikki] uncomfortable”–this, from the man who joined in Jake’s attacks of Vienna. Chris said:

“She wasn’t allowed or able to speak her mind. I almost felt sorry for her. She was uncomfortable. He was making her uncomfortable, and I assume, I’m hoping at least, it was just an orchestrated event by him to somehow and in some way, get back at me or the show, I don’t know what his motivation was for what he pulled last night. That was the most puzzling thing. I really felt like I was sitting here, like Jerry Maguire, saying, ‘Help me help you. I’m trying to make you look better. Come up with an articulate thought about this woman next to you who has pledged her devotion to you.’ The more he spoke, the worse he looked. I felt bad for both of them.”

No, Chris, you’re confused: The more you spoke, the worse youlooked. To his credit, he accepts that criticism: “I can’t disagree and I can only respect their opinions. That goes to show how great the show is and this is why I love it: I had people telling me how great I was last night and I handled him and he was a bad guy and then I had people telling me I was the worst person in the world and he’s great.”

Here’s why Chris says that he fled the set after the busted surprise segment: “Honestly, I had a short break and I was so parched, I ran over to get some water. I just walked five feet to get my water bottle and then I ran right back on stage.”

Finally, the After the Final Rose was more highly rated than the actual two hour block of filler, during which Juan Pablo rejected Clare and kinda chose Nikki. The show earned a 3.3 rating among people 18 to 49 and was watched by 10.2 million people–and After the Final Rose had a 3.8 rating and was watched by 10.97 million people. That’s the same as last season, though.

Review: Married at First Sight

Marriage At First Sight

In an era of Tinder and Grindr, instant acceptance or dismissal of a potential partner, or instant sex with another body, Married at First Sight offers the thrill of watching strangers deal with the very basics of relationships.

Beyond the headline-grabbing premise, the series has turned out to be a stripped-down, authentic exploration of something very interesting. Read the full review.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.