Bachelorette’s most shocking thing ever–wait, never mind, we’re probably just being played

The Bachelor franchise is the TV series that cried wolf so many times that now, everyone just ignores and mocks its sensationalized promotions and Chris Harrison’s overwrought insistence that every thing is more amazing than the last.

Last night, however, the wolf may have finally attacked–or it’ll just turn out that it was Chris Harrison in a wolf costume. That’s because the ending seemed to set up a never-happened-before finale and obliterate a spoiler (possible spoilers ahead, if you care).

The typical sexfest episode instead turned into sadness and tears–which, for the record, I’m sure were real and genuine, as were the stated feelings of the cast members. In brief, Brooks left, saying he wasn’t in love with Desiree, who told him she was in love with him but not the other two, Chris and Drew. So that leaves us with a finale next week in which Des has two finalists left who she doesn’t like, which is why the cliffhanger was her saying, “For me, it’s over.”

Or is it?! Reality Steve insists that he’s sticking with his original spoiler that Brooks wins. Steve also took the reaction on Twitter to the apparent fallibility of his spoiler as a pump to inflate his ego even more (“props to me for almost single handedly breaking the internet last night”). His reactions are as predictable as the show–zing!

However, I think he’s absolutely right when he points out that this would not have been a two-part episode if next week is just Des saying goodbye to the other two guys and ending the season on a note that would be a bummer to all the people who watch this as fairy tale romance fantasy porn. There will probably be a reversal and some heartwarming music and everyone will have been played like Mike Fleiss’ fiddle made of gold.

Previously.TV runs down odds on what will happen next week, and its most likely scenario seems very likely. Also likely: The Bachelor/ette will continue to fuck with its audience, and its audience will come back for more.

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