NBC replacing Matt Lauer with Donald Trump, who will be replaced by Jay Leno

NBC executives will shuffle several personalities between its shows, part of a strategic attempt to increase ratings by creating compelling drama off screen instead of in prime time.

In the most significant move, Celebrity Apprentice star Donald Trump will be replaced by Jay Leno next season. Leno’s humorless monologues and disengaged interviewing are a strong fit for the celebrity reality competition, and Leno is also capable of delivering significantly more delusion and ass-kissing than Trump ever could.

Trump will move to The Today Show, where he’ll replace Matt Lauer, who’s being forced out because of his popularity has dropped thanks to anonymous reports revealing his role in ousting Ann Curry, starting the war in Iraq, and literally crucifying Jesus.

Trump’s conspiracy theories and ego will fit well in The Today Show’s earlier hours, which emphasize hard news and thus frequently feature Trump and his in-depth investigative reporting. The show also needed a way to draw those viewers who obsessively watch cable news so they can learn what they need to be scared of as a way to avoid facing their own impotence, literal and figurative.

Ryan Seacrest, who contributed to NBC’s Olympics coverage by standing in front of screens with Olympics footage on them, will take over The Tonight Show. It will become 100 percent product integration and will be filmed in between breaks on Seacrest’s nationally syndicated morning show, which he records while on the treadmill and/or toilet in between offering outtakes from Kardashian shows in ritual sacrifices to the devil.

This fictional, satirical story is part of the April 1, 2013, edition of reality blurred. Happy April Fool’s Day.

Surprisingly, man not eaten alive on Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

Discovery Channel’s happy family holiday special Eaten Alive aired Sunday, rewarding viewers for their two full hours of viewing by ensuring that they spent quality time in the company of others instead of wasting that time doing something else that might not have been as satisfying, such as buying things that have labels which accurately reflect their contents.

Winter 2015 reality TV debut schedule

winter 2015 reality TV schedule

Mark your calendars with all these upcoming reality TV show debuts, including Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelor, and another season of MasterChef Junior, all of which kick off in early January.

There are also 20+ shows debuting in December--including the one-off return of The Sing Off. No winter break for reality TV.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.