Guess which white guy is the next Bachelor

ABC officially announced the next Bachelor star today, and is continuing with the pattern of casting a previous, white cast member as the lead. In this case, it’s Sean Lowe, who was rejected by Emily Maynard. So much for the rumors about Roberto Martinez, Ryan Lochte, and our hopes and dreams.

The network’s melodramatic press release mentions the “heavy sigh” that “went out from millions of viewers as they shared Sean Lowe’s heartbreak,” which is a tragic description, especially because it is probably at least somewhat true.

It says “Sean knows the time is right for him to make the ultimate commitment to the right woman and to start his own family” and says he is “loves to make a woman feel special and, as a life-long Texan, holds Southern values close to his heart,” and “wants to be the patriarch of a family that is centered on faith, love and laughter” so he can “be a supportive husband who will encourage his wife to chase her dreams, as well as be someone whom she can rely on to help her through good and bad times. Quite simply, he is looking for his best friend. Sean also wants a big family and would love to adopt a child, as well as have some of his own, as long as he can pass on the values he has taught his kids.”

That last part is nice but I threw up at “patriarch.”

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