A recap of Big Brother’s recap episode

At first, I thought last night’s Big Brother 14 was going to be good: it started with Ian pacing and Danielle confronting Dan about his avalanche of lies and use of her as his strategic punching bag. In the Diary Room, her makeup and tears were streaked down her face and all over her shirt. Start with this, end with one, maybe two of the final HOH competitions? Bring it on.

And then the producers stuck it to us, like Dan promising Danielle a puppy and instead giving her a dead squirrel head. (Apologies: I found one of those in my yard this morning, so it’s kind of on my mind.) Eating brunch around a new, tiny dining room table, they had forced reflection on this season as if they were The Golden Girls, except just not funny or entertaining or charming or anything. I could not fast-forward fast enough.

At least Survivor has had the good sense to pre-announce these waste-of-time episodes and schedule them when fewer people will be watching, like the day before Thanksgiving. This is the penultimate episode, and now we have to get through everything (most of which has already been taped, incidentally) in a 90-minute quasi-live episode? Ugh.

Anyway, here’s a recap of everything interesting and useful about the recap episode:

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