Penn Jillette was fired from The Celebrity Apprentice last night, which at the beginning of the series seemed impossible, but which seemed ever more probable in recent weeks.
Ultimately, Penn was fired because he came up with a tagline for Donald Trump’s new cologne that executives at Macy’s hated: “You earned it.” They said it was “too pompous” for Donald Trump; had I been eating at the time I heard that, I would have choked to death. Too pompous–ha! Anyway, Trump thought that was even worse than Clay Aiken approving the tagline, and thus Clay was spared, as was Dayana, who, as Lisa said, “doesn’t do enough overtly horrible shit to get fired.”
While Penn seemed to be one of the most competent and probably the most intelligent celebrity competing this season, he also didn’t seem to be prepared for the reality TV components: assigning blame, covering your own ass, et cetera. He seemed defeated and out of energy these past few episodes.
That is what Aubrey O’Day excels at. She’s smart and talented and has great ideas, but above all else she thinks strategically. It’s become obvious to everyone, though, so now she’s doing it brazenly, telling Eric Trump, “I thought of a million things–I was the only one, by the way.” He noted that “it’s about her, it’s about her ideas, it’s about her concept.”
But guess what? Ego and self-aggrandizement and Trump are pretty synonymous, so I don’t think that will hurt Aubrey, at least not unless she makes a really big, obvious mistake.
Things that made me laugh last night:
- Aubrey needed a skyline photo, so she sat on Arsenio Hall’s shoulders, which he describe like this: “Aubrey had a great idea: She said, ‘let me put your vagina on the back of my neck.'”
- Clay’s team hired a model to be in a photo with Dayana, and Clay said, “Once the model showed up,we put him in a shirt and tie, and tried to do him–oh, mercy! That was a Freduian slip. I wsih we had that guy take his shirt off. Anyway.”
- Lisa complemented Dayana, and Dayana said, “I hope she’s not trying to bust my peanuts.” I don’t know what that means, but maybe she and Kat from Survivor should have their own podcast.
- “I feel the win,” Teresa said. Aubrey replied, “It’s freezing, right?”
- Clay got turned on by the photo of Dayana: “If I’m excited by it, that’s saying something,” he said, and several Claymates fainted with the hope that they may one day still have him for themselves.
- Defending himself in the boardroom, Clay pointed out that he stepped up to be project manager instead of Penn, and added, “It’s surprising to think that I’m the one who has bigger balls of the two of us.” It’s surprising just to hear Clay Aiken talk about his balls.
- As Penn took his car service of shame, he told the camera, “I loved this whole expeirence, including tonight–including the getting fired thing. I can tell you the rules of chess, but I can’t tell you the rules of Celebrity Apprentice. That’s what’s beautiful about it: the fact that Donald Trump is a loose cannon and he also does what he wants and doesn’t back down.”