So. Close. To. The. End. of Big Brother 13. I cannot wait to purge my brain of this season, especially because there’s no longer any ending I can foresee that would make the investment of time worth it.
There are just two episodes to go, tonight’s and next Wednesday’s, which actually follows the 90-minute premiere of Survivor this year. And in the meantime is all of the requisite boredom of the final week, when the feed watchers really get what they paid for (actually, they’ve already gotten a lot of that this week, which is to say, screwed as the feeds were cut for more than a day as Wednesday’s episode was pre-taped).
Though not much of anything happened, the latest Pandora’s Box was actually entertaining, and it pains me to say that, especially because it involved Jessie Godderz, who promised he’d be back to torture us almost a year ago. But having Rachel be locked in a room with him while the rest of the houseguests got the annual “shopping spree” was too perfect. Even better, the look on Adam’s face when Tori Spelling walked in was worth his uselessness as a contestant the rest of the season.
But then we had to suffer through more repeats of the same competitions. Otev the sweet-tooth shark was a definite slide backwards from Otev the singing clam, who seemed like we were tripping on some shit. This was just dumb. Adam won the game of musical chairs, but decided not to use the veto, which fits with his general game play, which is ultimately smart (low-key) but frustrating (nothing interesting happens because of his actions). I don’t buy for a second that Adam was even considering vetoing one of their nominations; his line in the Diary Room sounded producer-fed (“say something about why you’d consider using the veto, even though we know you aren’t”).
Kalia knew she was done, because Rachel plays a reactionary game and would punish Kalia for her actions. Kalia cried her way through the episode, which was useful because it gave us a rare glimpse into the toilet room.
Now that Adam is HOH, we’ll get the real test. Is he brave enough to put up and evict Rachel and/or Jordan? And can he or Porsche–remember how we didn’t even know who she was for weeks and weeks?–win against Rachel, should the final two end up in that configuration, which it probably will because Rachel can win challenges and they rarely do?
The biggest surprise of the episode is how bitter and angry Jeff still is at Shelly and at being beaten. I can absolute understand an emotional response to being voted out quickly and unexpectedly, but after a few weeks, someone who’s previously played the game should be a little less furious. But he was, telling us, in his usual graceful way, “I do have some words unsaid to her.” Shelly managed to stay calm and tried to make her argument (“You were going to beat me”), but Jeff doesn’t see that as flattering, and even sniped at Daniele.
Of course, he’ll still probably win the fan favorite vote, especially if his fans are as aggrieved as he is. If Jordan gets evicted tonight, though, she probably has the best shot. Because really, who gives enough of a shit about any of the houseguests to vote to have them win $25,000?