Bachelorette spoiled down to the final four before Ashley meets her drunk, masked suitors

The Bachelorette 7 kicked off last night with not-quite-a-dentist-yet Ashley Hebert meeting her 25 suitors, including Tim, a man who was so drunk he fell asleep and had to be carried off to a car by other men; West, the man who tabloids are insinuating was involved in his wife’s death; and Jeff, a man who wore a mask throughout the evening, denying it was creepy. It was an okay start, as good as relatively dull Ashley could provide, and at the very least, provided many opportunities for Bachelorette poetry.

The show also started with Ashley telling host Chris Harrison–who has actually insightful tweets during the show, and they aren’t smarmy or obnoxious like his hosting–that she heard from a mutual friend that one bachelor, Bentley, was there just to promote himself. (That sounds familiar, producers! Try harder with the drama that tries too hard.) But while she asked him to be genuine and tell her everything, she forgot to be genuine and tell him everything she thinks she knows.

Meanwhile, Steve Carbone has spoiled the season down to the final four, who are surprising, to say the least, based on the first episode’s editing. Because he was wrong about the conclusion of the show’s sixth season last summer, Steve is holding off on identifying the final three and two, saying he knows most of both of those groups but “I’d rather be safe than sorry and not give wrong information this season.”

Surprisingly, man not eaten alive on Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

Discovery Channel’s happy family holiday special Eaten Alive aired Sunday, rewarding viewers for their two full hours of viewing by ensuring that they spent quality time in the company of others instead of wasting that time doing something else that might not have been as satisfying, such as buying things that have labels which accurately reflect their contents.

Winter 2015 reality TV debut schedule

winter 2015 reality TV schedule

Mark your calendars with all these upcoming reality TV show debuts, including Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelor, and another season of MasterChef Junior, all of which kick off in early January.

There are also 20+ shows debuting in December--including the one-off return of The Sing Off. No winter break for reality TV.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.