Abram’s blood alcohol was .208; charged only with defacing property with his feces

MTV reality show star and kids’ book author Abram Boise appeared before a judge yesterday after his defacing his jail cell with feces, and he ended up being charged only with that, not for indecent exposure after peeing in public. His blood alcohol level was .208.

Abram “was released on $300 bail yesterday after his arraignment on defacing property charges after he allegedly defecated and urinated in his Lunenburg police cell, wrote his name in feces on the cell wall and smeared feces on the cell door and window,” The Worcester Telegram and Gazette reports, noting that “his blood alcohol tested at .208, indicating he was legally drunk.”

The judge, according to the paper, “warned the defendant that if he gets arrested anywhere else in the country, he will be brought back to court in Fitchburg and his bail could be revoked and he could be sent to jail without bail and possibly lose his right to operate a motor vehicle in Massachusetts or any other state.”

Abram is the author of The Star of Happiness, which is described on its own web site as “an imaginatively engaging and brilliantly colorful children’s picture book about the individual pursuit of happiness” that has “beautiful poetry reminiscent of Rudyyard [sic] Kipling making for an instant classic to be loved for generations to come.”

The site’s comment section now features some hilarious comments that connect the book to his arrest and subsequent behavior this weekend. For example:

“A turd in the hand is worth 3 stars in the sky I guess.”

“I think after Abe’s latest escapades with pooping in his hand and then using the poo to fingerpaint in his jail cell the book should be renamed the brown star of happiness.”

“… r u an adult? u are sick and should not represent an author writing kids books. stick with the drunk challenges, 3some hook ups”

Surprisingly, man not eaten alive on Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

Discovery Channel’s happy family holiday special Eaten Alive aired Sunday, rewarding viewers for their two full hours of viewing by ensuring that they spent quality time in the company of others instead of wasting that time doing something else that might not have been as satisfying, such as buying things that have labels which accurately reflect their contents.

Winter 2015 reality TV debut schedule

winter 2015 reality TV schedule

Mark your calendars with all these upcoming reality TV show debuts, including Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelor, and another season of MasterChef Junior, all of which kick off in early January.

There are also 20+ shows debuting in December--including the one-off return of The Sing Off. No winter break for reality TV.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.