Reality stars gather to give themselves fake awards, drink at Reality Bash

Reality TV stars took a dip in the incestuous pool that is their post-reality lives this week and attended Reality Bash, which was “hosted by Mark Long,” of original Road Rules fame. This event is an excellent example of why reality TV needs more than insane personalities, such as producers and editors, because when there are just insane personalities, it’s eye-gougingly horrible. Just attempt to watch any of the unwatchable footage from the event on its YouTube channel and you’ll see what I mean.

The event was a response to the death of the Fox Reality Channel and thus the death of the Really Awards (which really, really needed to die they were so awful and fake) and its after-party. Its creator described it as “first and foremost a party to celebrate reality television, second a press event and third an award show.”

If has-been reality stars want to get together, drink, give each other fake awards, and be so full of themselves they have to vomit just to make room for their egos, more power to them. But must we subject the rest of the world to it? The only good thing about this is that ticket proceeds went to charity, the Space Coast Early Intervention Center.

And if all of my pessimism here seems irrational, well, it may be. But make that argument after you watch this video, which is from the red carpet and is at least comprehensible, unlike footage from inside. With this, though, I wanted to throw my laptop against the wall within the first second, literally, and it only gets worse. Among the lowlights, besides the hosts, are Jessica “Sugar” Kiper discussing her relationship with Andy Dick: “He was drunk when I met him; that’s not a big surprise,” she laughs.

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