Big Brother 12 drags its limp body to the finish line, where Hayden, Lane will compete for HOH

Big Brother 12 dragged its way toward its finale with the conclusion of the first part of the final HOH competition and the second part, and not much else.

Hayden won part one, outlasting Lane, who dropped off his tiny wooden swing after two hours and 35 minutes. Enzo lasted 19 minutes and made pizza. Then he lost the second part to Lane, who identified scrambled faces faster than Enzo, though I was just impressed that Enzo got them all right in under two minutes. That’s a low bar he’s set. At least Lane competed, though he told us, “I’m not interested in making any deals. No negotiating, no talking strategy, it’s every man for hisself.” Not much different from the rest of the season then, is it?

When Julie Chen announced that the jury house would erupt in conflict again, I literally went and made popcorn. I couldn’t wait for Ragan’s inability to read people and Matt Hoffman’s awfulness as a human being to be revealed simultaneously. But it was kind of a bust. Matt said he wanted to “keep it private,” so the reveal was just between the two of them, and Ragan said he was “shell-shocked” and learning this was “catastrophic,” but mostly he just sat and stared. It was nothing like the reaction Matt got from the rest of the jury.

However, Ragan and Rachel did get into a fight, which Rachel escalated from a rather mature discussion Ragan attempted to have with her about their differences in the game to a near-shouting match–though it was nothing like their big blow-up. So yes, again, Rachel defended herself against the accusation that she started all the fights in the house by starting a fight in the jury house. Whatever.

Sunday’s episode is a recap, which I am pre-deleting from my DVR (Survivor can’t even get those right, so there’s no way in hell that’ll be worth 44 minutes), and next Wednesday’s two-hour finale will include the final part of the HOH competition, the jury reunion and Q&A, and the final live vote. This extra week is just unnecessary and stupid, and I have no idea how the hell they are going to fill two hours on Wednesday.

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