Alliances shift a little in the Big Brother house as the saboteur becomes even lamer

After a 90-minute delay, during which the Big Brother 12 houseguests’ normal time was filled by Tiger Woods and Al Pacino, among others I fast-forwarded through, the game took an interesting turn as Brendon became Head of Household, continuing the back-and-forth wins between the Brigade and Brenchel.

First, the saboteur twist hasn’t left us yet, but I think it’s safe to declare that it’s failed and is completely stupid. Ragan is earning the easiest $20,000 in reality TV history. He rejects viewers’ suggestions of actual sabotage and instead records videos in the Diary Room. There is zero risk here, and also zero reward for us. This time, he reiterated the lie that two people have a relationship, and said it was a male and a female, pissing off Britney and Kathy because they were singled out. (His resuscitation of this lie should confirm that it’s a lie, because how the hell would Ragan know?) These messages seem to momentarily agitate the houseguests, and then they go back to running in their wheel.

Back to the actual game: While Brendon is an annoying player–“all we wanted to do was be happy and in love,” he whined–the switch in the power dynamic does assure things stay interesting. Even more interesting was Enzo and Hayden’s plan, forged last Thursday before Rachel’s eviction, to align themselves with Brendon and Rachel. They did this to try to purge Brigade members’ allies, Ragan and Britney, and preserve their own well-preserved alliance.

This is uncharacteristically smart for someone whose droopy mouth shouts at us all the time and someone who calls himself “meow meow” seriously, because the real threat to any big alliance’s long-term success are smaller alliances, which tend to survive longer. They want to “trim the fat and get the Brigade back to what it was,” as Enzo said.

Brendon, however, had his own plans and targeted Britney and Lane, which didn’t thrill Enzo or Hayden, not that they can do anything about it. Earlier, he chose Ragan, Britney, and Matt as the have-nots, which Britney said meant he wasn’t “playing nice,” which basically means he wasn’t nice to her just as she wasn’t nice to him earlier.

It’d be sad to lose Lane because his comments are definitely the funniest in a group competing to be funny. “It’s just Brendon; he can’t kill you in here,” Lane told us when he pointed out how everyone was using him as a bodyguard. Later, he tried to determine what was in Raisin Bran, temporarily confusing it, I think, with Cookie Crisp. Even when he’s just genuinely dumb, he’s much more entertaining than Britney, who in her attempt to be funny often makes no sense at all. Last night she told us that Brendon leading in the competition made her want to “lay my face down in a mud puddle, suck in a bunch of air, and kill myself.” Breathing in air: that’s the way to kill yourself for sure.

By the way, Matt’s commentary has Enzo useless in challenges, maybe kind of like he’s a useless strategist. And I was also annoyed by his comments about watching Ragan and Britney cry. For one, because he’s a shitty liar and person, he expressed his sympathy by grinning because he has the Diamond Power of Veto. Then he told us that listening to them cry was like “being with a couple of girls.” First, shithead, one of the is a girl. Second, not only girls cry, you sexist twit, but I suppose your genius prevents you from connection to human beings, including your alleged friend Ragan. How about you use that Diamond Power of Veto to strangle yourself until you pass out so we don’t have to have to listen to your comments any more?

Don’t miss: Behind-the-scenes in the Big Brother house and a Big Brother dictionary.

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