YouTube doesn’t have talent based on AGT’s momentum-killing episode

America’s Got Talent 5 aired a special YouTube-themed episode last night that essentially took the show back to the audition rounds, which was not a good idea.

Most of the acts, as you might suspect, sucked. Some of them were so bad it seemed like a joke, from the awkwardly angry stand-up comedian to the guy who inexplicably danced on an inexplicable L-shaped set piece. Even the ones that weren’t bad, like the 12-year-old jump-roping kid or the 16-year-old classical pianist, didn’t seem up to the level of talent and entertainment that we expect at this point in the competition.

The act that gets the most votes will join everyone else in the semi-final round, and probably be voted out right away, because they haven’t had a chance to grow from small to big, Vegas-worthy act. Alas, the winner from last night will probably be another fucking singer, in this case a 10-year-old kid with an incredibly creepy ability to sing opera like she’s 50. But this show needs to stop with the singers–and, while we’re at it, the sad stories.

The episode was worth it, though, for one moment thanks to shock illusionist Dan Sperry, who ended his act with some interaction with Howie Mandel that left both him and Sharon Osbourne fleeing the judges’ table. Watch:

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