Kristen emerges from the shadows to start a mini-Big Brother house war

For the first time this season, we finally had a decent episode of Big Brother. From Matt being called out on his stupid strategy to Monet’s eyes rolling around in her head to Julie Chen calling herself the Chenbot in third person (“Whoa, calling out the Chenbot!”)–just like a robot would–it was a decently entertaining hour. And let’s not forget how, after a commercial break, Julie Chen stood in the dark, turned away from the camera, for an extended period of time even after the show came back live, because she was waiting for the lights to go up before she did her turn. She’s a pro.

Perhaps the most amazing part was that this all seemed to start, at least according to the TV version, with Kristen. Yes, Kristen, who was missing from Tuesday’s episode (where does she go?), confronted Britney and Monet and basically said she would vote against Monet. That led Britney to talk to Rachel, who decided to tell Britney that Matt volunteered to go on the block, and then Rachel decided to call a house meeting to call him out on that.

I’m not sure what Rachel’s intentions were here, but I don’t care since it put Matt in the extremely awkward position of having to Ronnie his way out of his duplicity.
Unfortunately, because of the frustrating production schedule–four or five days of post-veto house drama have to be condensed into 15 minutes, to allow time for Julie Chen to ask questions about things that do not matter–we only got a couple minutes of that.

The hilarious part was that Matt initially thought he had “the rest of the house behind me” and was “sitting pretty,” but then found himself having to make awkward faces. Of course, ultimately, he was sitting pretty, because Monet went home, leaving the house less whiny and completely white. She was annoying and not even good at being bitchy, so she really won’t be missed. Her one good moment came during the house meeting, telling everyone that Matt will “lie to all of you and he’ll get away with it,” but by the time she was about to be voted out, she’d given up and gave a lame speech.

Meanwhile, Julie Chen scolded Ragan for making a joke about the veto competition being like his typical nights in West Hollywood, and Julie got all puritan and shouted “family program!” Yes, S&M challenges are fine as long as you don’t state the obvious.

The HOH competition was endurance–standing on a surfboard while being splashed with water–which had the mildly interesting twist of also being the have/have not competition, so the first people to bail would be those who get to eat and sleep in comfort, while those who stuck around and battled for HOH would not. (Alas, that probably means no challenge Sunday night.) The the HOH winner should, however, make things interesting, or not.

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