Last week, I lost a body part. That pretty much sums it up the week for me, but here’s what it looked like in reality TV news, and what to look forward to next week:
- Last week, there was good news: Breth Michaels was released from the hospital, and will recover; Tom Colicchio became a real top chef; and two Deadliest Catch deckhands became villains for a really great cause.
Meanwhile, Idol’s producer got pissed off at the contestants, but not at himself for running the show into the ground with its declining ratings and time overruns, neither of which really matter because it’s making money.
- Sunday, May 9
The Amazing Race 16 ends its season [CBS, 8 p.m.] with a one-hour finale during which the cowboys, the models, or the bros will win $1 million. Later, The Celebrity Apprentice contestants will play interior decorator and redecorate apartments [NBC, 9 p.m.], and Donald Trump will fire someone who’s not as famous as someone else.
- Monday, May 10
TLC edges more into Food Network’s territory with Chocolate Wars [TLC, 10 p.m.], which is like its cake-off competition but with chocolate. Meanwhile, The Real Housewives of New Jersey [Bravo, 10 p.m.] bring up Danielle’s past, and they really need to pick up the drama, because the New York cast is piling it on. Who cares if it closely resembles a bus full of fourth graders?
- Tuesday, May 11
Ice Cube’s entry in ESPN’s 30 for 30, Straight Outta L.A., debuts [ESPN, 8 p.m.] and focuses on the Raiders’ move to L.A. and “the unlikely marriage between the NFL’s rebel franchise and America’s glamour city,” according to ESPN.
- Wednesday, May 12
America’s Next Top Model concludes its 14th season at a special time [The CW, 9 p.m.], while Top Chef Masters [Bravo, 10 p.m.] has a super-sized 75-minute episode that has a Simpsons-themed quickfire: Matt Groening and Hank Azaria will judge the challenge as the chefs create dishes inspired by certain characters.
- Thursday, May 13
Survivor Heroes vs. Villains [CBS, 8 p.m.] gets ready for its Sunday finale with visits from the final six’s family and/or friends, who will apparently be the reward for a challenge, though CBS’ press release has an awkwardly phrased sentence that suggests they could actually spend time with them during the challenge, too: “The final six get the chance to earn time with their loved ones in a fiercely fought reward challenge.”