Heidi Montag will “now become a full time motion picture actress” and a screenwriter

With the news that MTV has cancelled/is ending The Hills, one of its stars has announced her post-fake life plans: Heidi Montag will become an actor.

“I’m so excited The Hills is finally over and I can now become a full time motion picture actress,” she told People. “There is no better training [for an actor] than being in front of the cameras 24-7.”

Learning how to act might help, but that will be especially challenging with her newly immobile face. (Heidi is convinced she knows how to act because she appeared in a not very funny Funny or Die skit.)

But wait, it gets better: She also thinks she can write screenplays. “I am making the first 3-D beach comedy about a shark that attacks a small beach town and I save the day with my 3-D boobs. I’ve even written a role for Dolly Parton to play the town mayor” she said.

Surprisingly, man not eaten alive on Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

Discovery Channel’s happy family holiday special Eaten Alive aired Sunday, rewarding viewers for their two full hours of viewing by ensuring that they spent quality time in the company of others instead of wasting that time doing something else that might not have been as satisfying, such as buying things that have labels which accurately reflect their contents.


Winter 2015 reality TV debut schedule

winter 2015 reality TV schedule

Mark your calendars with all these upcoming reality TV show debuts, including Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelor, and another season of MasterChef Junior, all of which kick off in early January.

There are also 20+ shows debuting in December--including the one-off return of The Sing Off. No winter break for reality TV.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.