Here are last week’s must-read stories, and a list of notable shows airing next week.
- This was a weird week in reality TV news: Mike Tyson will race pigeons, Spencer Pratt claimed he was leaving The Hills to to fight “threats” against the USA (though there may be another story), Top Chef‘s Marcel is getting a show on SyFy, a French documentary pretended to electrocute people to make an interesting point about TV, and Russell Hantz doesn’t quite sound like himself in a preview for next week’s episode.
Also, we learned that the regular Apprentice will return with a fun hook to the recession, Paula Abdul rejected an ABC revival of an old show, American Idol had its lowest ratings ever, and Bachelors have sex with an average of three women during each season.
- Saturday, March 20
In a few weeks, the Fox Reality Channel will become National Geographic Wild, and tonight it concludes its final two original series: Seducing Cindy [9 p.m.] and Solitary 4.0 [10 p.m.].
- Sunday, March 21
Discovery’s Life debuts [8 p.m.] on seven different networks. If you’re interested in staring at odd living creatures doing amazing things, there’s also the season three debut of Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane [Style, 9 p.m.], the fifth season premiere of Gene Simmons Family Jewels [A&E, 9 p.m.], the premiere of Kirstie Alley’s Big Life [A&E, 10 p.m.], and Style’s Jersey Shore knock-off Jerseylicious [Style 10 p.m.] On network TV, the first episode of Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution [ABC, 10 p.m.] will be previewed before re-airing Friday along with its second episode. On the show, the “Naked Chef” will attempt to reform Americans’ shitty eating habits.
- Monday, March 22
Dancing with the Stars [ABC, 8 p.m.] returns with a cast that doesn’t suck too much
- Tuesday, March 23
The final 11 American Idol 9 contestants tackle songs of teen idols [Fox, 8 p.m.], which few if any of them will become because this season sucks.
- Wednesday, March 24
Survivor Heroes vs. Villains got preempted last week and this week gets bumped to Wednesday for its episode [CBS, 8 p.m.]. Meanwhile, Fly Girls, a docudrama that follows flight attendants on Virgin America, debuts tonight [The CW, 9 p.m.], and The Real World DC tonight [MTV, 10 p.m.] is followed by a “Shit They Should Have Shown” special [11 p.m.] and the finale and reunion next week. (This was corrected; for the second week in a row, my listing has been incorrect thanks to changing listings. Apologies.)
In news about good television, Mythbusters returns with its eighth season [Discovery, 9 p.m.] as Adam and Jamie test whether you can kill someone by throwing soda out the window of your car, while Grant and Tory say goodbye to temporary team member Jessi as they test “the death defying hang” from movies.